Posted by: Andrew | April 23, 2011

Immobility pain and Faith

I’m usually a very active person, I like to be on the go doing stuff. In my job I go and visit people, I deliver lectures (rather enthusiastically) and run events for young people. I’ve got 2 lads and a wife who has a very busy job so home life is busy and I like to be doing something even if it’s just pottering in the garden or getting lunch ready. I like to be moving.

Then about 3 weeks ago my sciatica flared up again, I first got it last year. I could tell it was bad but had no idea how bad it was going to get. I realised that things were a lot worse when I was trying to get to Sheffield for a meeting. I’d got the boys off to school and had taken the bus into town and then had a 5 minute walk to the station. By the time I got there I was in more pain than I’ve ever experienced and could barely stand up. I managed to get to a cafe, phoned and cancelled the meeting and got a taxi home. since then the furthest I’ve walked is to the doctors which is less than 100 metres away and I’ve had to stop and least once on the way. On one occasion my wife took me in the car.

I’m now on a variety of medication (including morphine) and had an epidural this week. But the biggest impact on my life has been the immobility. On a bad day walking up stairs is agony, other days I can walk slowly round the house. I’ve spent an awful lot of my time on my own just sitting and reading the paper, watching DVD’s reading books and chatting to some great friends who have rallied round.

I’ve decided to reflect on what this means for an active Christian. The other day I stopped and asked what might God be saying to me in all this? The first thing that struck me was how long it took for me to be in a position to ask that question. Why didn’t I ask that on day 1 or 2 why not until about day 10 (although when the days are mostly taken up with sitting and the occasional trip to the doctors they do all blur a bit).

So I’ve decided to reflect on this process really for my own sanity but you may be interested. It’s an on-going situation. It’s still far from better. Today I managed to get my hair cut but had to drive the couple of hundred metres to the hairdressers.

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